Dr Lee has left us for 365 days
Weather: Fog
Temperature: 11 c
Today, the whole world celebrates Christmas. Even in country like China where religion is almost non-existent, the air and joy of Christmas are everywhere. Shopping malls and high end commercial buildings have been very busy with Christmas decoration. Christmas trees, fake snow, Santa Claus, Jingle Bell are seen in every corner. I am not sure whether China is the only country that celebrates Christmas purely from commercial perspective without any form of religious element.
Having said the above, while my friends in Malaysia, USA, Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong etc, are enjoying Christmas holiday, I am sad to say that: maybe, China is also the only country that celebrates Christmas without an official public holiday! Yes, regrettably, I am working now: First time in my life doing something non-leisure related on Christmas. Though I am not Christian, I have always thought that Christmas holiday is something I deserve.
But today’s article is not about Christmas; it is about a friend of mine who has left this world exactly 1 year ago.
His name was Dr Lee. He was my classmate. After SPM, he pursued his study in medicine and in 2005, he successfully became a doctor. He once told me that he applied job in Malaysia, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand, and ironically, only Malaysia turned him down. Apparently, Malaysia had enough qualified doctors already. So Dr Lee went to Australia to start his career: another sad story of Malaysia’s brain drain. I have had enough of telling the brain drain stories so I would not elaborate here.
I must admit that Dr Lee and I were not close in class. I belonged to the group that created the most noise but made the least revision; while Dr Lee belonged to the group that made no nonsense but fully concentrated on studies. Naturally, our worlds were poles apart. He couldn’t stand me cracking up jokes which he found not funny thus disrupting the class and similarly I couldn’t stand him raising his hands so often to ask the teacher questions, which I found unnecessary.
After we finished high school, we went our separate ways. There was a long period of time that we have lost touch with each other: until one fine day in June 2006.
I was watching movie at home when I suddenly received a call from Dr Lee. I intentionally used the word “suddenly” as I was in no way expecting a call from him. I did not even have his number in my mobile.
Dr Lee sounded ok. He told me that he got my number from another classmate and knew that I was practicing law in Klang. He needed a favor from me: he wanted me to draw a will for him. “May I ask why?” I curiously asked. Dr. Lee definitely didn’t fit the profile of a client who wanted to draw a will. He was only 25 that time. Which young adult at the age of 25 would have thought about writing a will to dispose off his/her assets when he/she is not around?
Dr Lee did not try to avoid my question; he answered me honestly without any hesitation. “I am dying. I got Leukemia and there is 70% chance I would not make it.” He told me calmly.
I did not know how to reply. I was shocked. But more than being shocked, I was sad. I have lost 2 classmates since I graduated from high school: one died of brain tumor, and the other drowned in the sea of Taiwan. I really could not take the news of a third one.
I tried to sound as professional as possible with little emotion. I thought it would not be appropriate to probe further on his health over the phone. I said surely I would help him and we would meet up to discuss the details. He said ok but the meeting would have to wait until he came back from his Chemo.
A week later, Engtee, Lloyd and I went to Dr Lee’s house. Engtee was scared by the presence of 2 dogs. Dr Lee slowly walked out of the house to lead the dogs away. We became speechless when we saw Dr Lee: he was bald, thin, and weak. He appeared tired when he greeted us.
3of us proceeded to his bed room. Instead of talking about the will, we were generally talking about his medical conditions (which initially we tried not to bring up). He was happy to tell us about his conditions. Being a doctor, he was able to explain to us clearly what Leukemia is, the symptom, the treatment, the side effect and the chances of survival. Once we were done with the medical jargons, we reckoned that it was time to discuss something more formal: his will.
I have drafted a few wills for clients before but this was different: I was helping my classmate to draft his own will in anticipation of impending death. The feeling was very bad. Even until now, I am not able to forget it.
After that Dr Lee went through a series of Chemo, including a bone marrow transplant. He was getting weaker by the days. We went to the hospital to visit him. He was cheerful to see us. But because he was too weak, we could not go into his room in one huge group; we had to be divided into groups of 3 and took turn to see him.
On Christmas last year, I received a sms informing me that Dr Lee has passed away. It was just a few days before my wedding.
I was prevented from going to his funeral to pay him the last respect due to some Chinese traditional “pantang” – I was about to get married and it would bring bad luck to my marriage if I were to attend a funeral. Of course I was not educated and brought up to believe in all these “pantang”, but I felt that I would be very selfish if I were to upset my wife and my in laws and place them in fear. Additionally, I did not want to give them the opportunity to say, “na na na I told you so.” if my marriage does not work out.
365 days has gone by since Dr Lee left us. I would remember him as a brave person who could face his own death fearlessly, calmly and with hope.
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russel.
.
Having said the above, while my friends in Malaysia, USA, Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong etc, are enjoying Christmas holiday, I am sad to say that: maybe, China is also the only country that celebrates Christmas without an official public holiday! Yes, regrettably, I am working now: First time in my life doing something non-leisure related on Christmas. Though I am not Christian, I have always thought that Christmas holiday is something I deserve.
But today’s article is not about Christmas; it is about a friend of mine who has left this world exactly 1 year ago.
His name was Dr Lee. He was my classmate. After SPM, he pursued his study in medicine and in 2005, he successfully became a doctor. He once told me that he applied job in Malaysia, Singapore, Australia and New Zealand, and ironically, only Malaysia turned him down. Apparently, Malaysia had enough qualified doctors already. So Dr Lee went to Australia to start his career: another sad story of Malaysia’s brain drain. I have had enough of telling the brain drain stories so I would not elaborate here.
I must admit that Dr Lee and I were not close in class. I belonged to the group that created the most noise but made the least revision; while Dr Lee belonged to the group that made no nonsense but fully concentrated on studies. Naturally, our worlds were poles apart. He couldn’t stand me cracking up jokes which he found not funny thus disrupting the class and similarly I couldn’t stand him raising his hands so often to ask the teacher questions, which I found unnecessary.
After we finished high school, we went our separate ways. There was a long period of time that we have lost touch with each other: until one fine day in June 2006.
I was watching movie at home when I suddenly received a call from Dr Lee. I intentionally used the word “suddenly” as I was in no way expecting a call from him. I did not even have his number in my mobile.
Dr Lee sounded ok. He told me that he got my number from another classmate and knew that I was practicing law in Klang. He needed a favor from me: he wanted me to draw a will for him. “May I ask why?” I curiously asked. Dr. Lee definitely didn’t fit the profile of a client who wanted to draw a will. He was only 25 that time. Which young adult at the age of 25 would have thought about writing a will to dispose off his/her assets when he/she is not around?
Dr Lee did not try to avoid my question; he answered me honestly without any hesitation. “I am dying. I got Leukemia and there is 70% chance I would not make it.” He told me calmly.
I did not know how to reply. I was shocked. But more than being shocked, I was sad. I have lost 2 classmates since I graduated from high school: one died of brain tumor, and the other drowned in the sea of Taiwan. I really could not take the news of a third one.
I tried to sound as professional as possible with little emotion. I thought it would not be appropriate to probe further on his health over the phone. I said surely I would help him and we would meet up to discuss the details. He said ok but the meeting would have to wait until he came back from his Chemo.
A week later, Engtee, Lloyd and I went to Dr Lee’s house. Engtee was scared by the presence of 2 dogs. Dr Lee slowly walked out of the house to lead the dogs away. We became speechless when we saw Dr Lee: he was bald, thin, and weak. He appeared tired when he greeted us.
3of us proceeded to his bed room. Instead of talking about the will, we were generally talking about his medical conditions (which initially we tried not to bring up). He was happy to tell us about his conditions. Being a doctor, he was able to explain to us clearly what Leukemia is, the symptom, the treatment, the side effect and the chances of survival. Once we were done with the medical jargons, we reckoned that it was time to discuss something more formal: his will.
I have drafted a few wills for clients before but this was different: I was helping my classmate to draft his own will in anticipation of impending death. The feeling was very bad. Even until now, I am not able to forget it.
After that Dr Lee went through a series of Chemo, including a bone marrow transplant. He was getting weaker by the days. We went to the hospital to visit him. He was cheerful to see us. But because he was too weak, we could not go into his room in one huge group; we had to be divided into groups of 3 and took turn to see him.
On Christmas last year, I received a sms informing me that Dr Lee has passed away. It was just a few days before my wedding.
I was prevented from going to his funeral to pay him the last respect due to some Chinese traditional “pantang” – I was about to get married and it would bring bad luck to my marriage if I were to attend a funeral. Of course I was not educated and brought up to believe in all these “pantang”, but I felt that I would be very selfish if I were to upset my wife and my in laws and place them in fear. Additionally, I did not want to give them the opportunity to say, “na na na I told you so.” if my marriage does not work out.
365 days has gone by since Dr Lee left us. I would remember him as a brave person who could face his own death fearlessly, calmly and with hope.
“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russel.
.
Labels: 随心挥笔
posted by harnniann at
3:27 pm
1 Comments:
Hey niann,
He should be glad to get to know that he has a friend like you. Yes, it has been 365 days.
Amendment - I think it wasnt me that followed you and ET to the hospital, I think it could be Timmy. If not mistaken, I was in HK visiting Hau Yen and we did visited him somehow, when I got back from HK.
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