Mr. Toh, My friend wants me to ask you about divorce, can ar?

Temperature: 17 c

Weather: Mostly Cloudy

Since I came to Shanghai, I was asked for legal advice by friends in Malaysia not less than 5 times. One lawyer asked me about some procedural issues (you know who you are), which I was glad to help, because the question reminded me of legal practice in Malaysia, it made me not to forget things like summary judgment application, substituted service (aka SS) application, striking out, amendments, garnishment, etc. These are things that I did on a daily basis in Klang, but after almost 4 months since I quitted practice, this knowledge on civil procedure slowly faded away. I guess when I come back to Malaysia next year, I may not even remember what is the minimum threshold to make a person bankrupt.

But more commonly, I was asked about issues regarding divorce. Even when I have hung my practicing certificate and “bungkus” to China, some people in Malaysia still smell my special interest in matrimonial matters.

Well, not to say that I want to blow my own trumpet, but I was really good in handling divorce cases. My parents may not approve my practice in this area, but nevertheless, I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt when I accepted a brief on divorce.

Divorce cases must be handled differently. In business transactions, you, as a lawyer, ask for certain documents/information from the parties, then verify it, analyze it, and advice your clients on the feasibility of transactions and the risks involved. Divorce matters are different.

You will definitely lose a client (especially a lady client) if you treat the client who is going through matrimonial crisis like any other business clients of yours. These clients (again, especially the ladies) come to the legal firm with burden, problem, heartache, hatred, anger, disappointment, disillusion and whatever negative emotions. Right from the beginning, the case is meant to be personal and emotional. Most of the clients couldn’t think straight for themselves. Their judgments are often clouded by emotions. Most of the time, they don’t come to seek solution; they just sense that their marriage is over and they need to see a lawyer. But, if you ask them how a lawyer can help, they don’t have a clue.

So, instead of saying “what can I do for you?” (as most lawyers say to their client to start a conversation), I have learned to say “any problem?”. Because, they really don’t know what you can do for them; they only know they have problems and they want you to know their problems. Don’t behave too “lawyerly” at the beginning. They are not interested to know the legalistic of their case. Rookie family lawyer will say, “according to the 1976 Act, you should blah blah blah…” or explain to the client the civil procedure regarding divorce. That will surely cut the mood for further conversation.

I only checked for 2 things at the beginning: (a) have you registered your marriage? (b) how long since your marriage was registered. These 2 things are fundamentals; the rest, I could dig out later when the timing is right. Once the client feels comfortable to spill out her misery, she will shoot her stories at you non-stop.

At first, I was shocked by the client’s horrible experience. But day after day, case after case, these stories are almost similar and have the same pattern: a jerk husband who doesn’t know how to support his family financially, or a rich husband who commits adultery; or problems with the mother in law.

Unless you have something really urgent going on, you should not interrupt the client by telling her: no, I don’t need to know that, I just want to know this, this and this. You must be patient and sincerely show interest and certain degree of sympathy towards their stories. If the client loses control of her tears, it’s good to extend her a packet of tissue: it shows you are considerate and gentle. Now, you have earned the client’s trust.

When you sense that the client has thrashed out the painful past, and is ready to talk business, then only you begin with the “legal” part of your job. Explain to them the procedures involved, what is the difference between joint petition and contested petition, who will have custody of the children etc. They listen better once they trust you. Bear in mind that many clients have “shopped” around looking for lawyers before they come to see you, so they could compare. Some of them already know the basics, such as you need 2 years before you could file a divorce petition, what is the definition of matrimonial property etc.

When you have briefly touched on the procedural issues, normally the client will ask about the cost. It will cost thousands, I told them. They will open their mouth wide and appear in shock. At this exact moment, I will forcefully assure them that the legal cost will be the last thing they should worry about, because if they don’t have the money now, they can always save until they have sufficient then only file the petition, a divorce can always wait. But other issues, such as whether the husband agrees to sign the petition (I may want to blog another article regarding why always the young wives seek for divorce), who will have the custody of the children, what happens to the matrimonial property etc, are much more complicated and could not be easily resolved within a short period of time.

If you feel that you have spent too much time on this client, say this: “is there anything else I could help you?” Because they don’t know the answer, so they would normally reply: “I guess that’s all.” Stand up and escort them to the main door.

If the client turns around and says, “Thanks, you are very thoughtful and helpful” before she leaves the firm, chances are, you have already had the client in your pocket.



p/s:-

Today, the Malaysian gang met again. This time, we had cantonese food. Not bad. Though these guys are professionals, they nevertheless love to show their middle fingers when taking photos. Ai... this shows the quality of our young professionals (oops, they have no idea I am going to publish their photos in this blog!)

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