Toh in China: How to measure one's personal growth and improvement?

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Temperature: 25 c

They said, you are a learner until the day you die.

Since I left my university and started my career, it was very hard to tell whether I was improving and learning.

When I was in school, it was easy to judge if I was improving and growing. For example, 2 months ago, I could only do “Exercise 2 A” of my mathematic workbook; 2 months later, I had advanced to “Exercise 3 C”. Obviously, I had improved.

Further, I could also tell whether I was improving and growing by looking at my result card. Last semester, I got 85 for Biology and this semester I scored 90 – another clear sign of improvement.

However, I was not given a “result card” once I finished my academic studies and stepped into the real work. Unlike schools, there is no well-tested “learning program” in the real world; I would have to figure how to learn things in the real world.

I can’t really tell with reasonable precision how much have I improved since I started my legal practice 5 years ago. One thing for sure: I am no longer the rookie who had problem addressing the judges. I had 2 extraordinary masters – one sent from heaven and the other one from hell. Both had been very generous in sharing their knowledge and had taught me about the legal practice from different perspectives. They opened up my eyes and made me realize that legal practice is not all about citing the relevant laws and authorities in the courts, but also includes making sure that we are paid by the clients for our services, so that our firm’s employees could get their salaries.

And, I am still learning.

I still remember when I started my work in Shanghai, I almost cried and wanted to throw in the towel and go home. I was asked to prepare a memo for a multi-national company, and was given a few precedents to follow. I did not know what to do and was so afraid to ask. My colleagues expected me to know what to do, but I had no knowledge on the subject matter. To rub salt into the wound, the deadline was “close of business” that day. I only had a few hours to figure out what to do, and do it. In the end, I survived the ordeal and somehow managed to pull it through. But the pressure was tremendous and unforgettable. I wanted to call my wife and tell her that if she does not like Shanghai, we can book the next flight to return to Malaysia. Amazingly, she fell in love with Shanghai. From that day onwards, I knew I have to work like a hamster running the wheel.

Time flies. A few months have passed by since then. But, am I improving and learning? I wasn’t sure until one evening I stopped and observed the work scattered on my desk. Oh gosh! I had 2 memos, 1 contract, 2 checklists and a dozen of emails waiting for me to complete, and I went home at around 12 midnight that day. A few months ago, I wanted to go back to Malaysia because I could not handle 1 simple memo. I wanted to go back because I thought working beyond 8pm was both sinful and crazy. Certainly, I have grown up.

Shanghai has toughened me up. I am not sure if that is a good thing. If I had stayed in Malaysia, I would definitely have an easy and enjoyable life (of course, until the recent "unconscionable" fuel hike that ruined everything). Well, life is fair: you win some, you lose some.