Nightlife in Shanghai

Temperature: 27 c
Weather: Fair

Some of my readers have expressed their curiosity about my night life in Shanghai. They firmly opine that there must be something interesting and erotic at night which I choose not to blog about. After all, isn’t Shanghai a city that never sleeps 不夜城?

Unfortunately, contrary to most beliefs, though Shanghai never sleeps, I do sleep every day. And I sleep very early. If I have to stay up late, it is definitely not due to women, music, neon lights, alcohol, dance or entertainment; it must be work related.

Using the words of my brother, I am living an Uncle’s life. What I normally do after 9pm is quite routine (or some may say boring): watching tv, reading books, surfing net or talking to my wife. I have unintentionally put up a hidden veil between myself and the night life of Shanghai. Though my office is just 10 meters away from one of the most happening areas of Shanghai i.e. 新天地, I must shamefully admit that I have never stepped into any pub of 新天地. 新天地,to me, is so near yet so far.

Do I purposely choose to live an Uncle’s life? No, I don’t. Then why not enjoy and experience the other side of Shanghai while I am at it? Well, let’s do the analysis here. I think, for anyone to enjoy going to pubs, dancing on the floor, boozing, womanizing or anything for that matter, you can’t escape from these important ingredients: interest + opportunity + ability.

Interest

When I was in Klang, on and off, I did get invitation from friends to go to the pubs or nightclubs in KL. When I knew I had to go to KL pubs or nightclubs, I usually will not immediately think of the music, the dance floor, the hot girls or the drinks; what popped into my mind were traveling to KL, petrol costs, toll charges, cover charges, road blocks, police raids, and sleep deprivation. Especially when I started practicing law, I became very practical.

Once in a blue moon I did enjoy the music and the drinks (mostly when I was a little “high”). However, unlike my brother Stevo who can dance like LA Boyz or Rain, I had developed back pain and had problem doing the most basic moves of Yoga. So dancing is out.

I love to drink a few small glasses of beer with good friends or my father in law over dinner. But that’s about it. Anything more than 2 to 3 cans of beer, you will see me flirting with the toilet bowl. My dad can get drunk even with just a can of Anchor Beer, so you know I don’t have the alcoholic genes in me. Boozing is out.

What about the hot chicks? Well, all I can say is I am a married man. I could only look at the menu but have to eat at home. Sometimes even looking at menus which serve exotic cuisines is prohibited. My house has a “see and no touch; think and no action” policy. I better stop here before I get into domestic trouble.

So, if I can’t dance, can’t drink, can’t flirt, what’s the point of going to the pubs? Seriously, do you want to spend money going to pubs with your lips sealed, hands tied and a backache?

Opportunity

One must have extra free time to go to pubs. Better still if you don’t have to work the next morning, because that will allow a buffer for the hangover.

Other than time factor, there is still a “wife” factor. Engtee is monitoring me like an eagle looking at its prey. She knows what time I go to work and what time I am supposed to come home. If I spend an extra half an hour at 新天地before I walk home, she could smell it half a mile away.

Hence even if I am interested and tempted to have a taste of what Shanghai offers at night, I still need an opportunity to sneak out.

Ability

Having fun is not cheap in Shanghai. Everything from booze to girls has a price tag to it. Unless you are ready and willing to spend at least a couple hundreds of RMB, you had better stay home and watch tv or read novels which is way cheaper.

That’s why I say “ability” is an important ingredient in having fun at night. Because without the ability to pay for the cover charge, the beer and the girls, even if you are a party animal and have plenty of spare time to kill, you still could not set foot into the nightlife of Shanghai. No money no party. Fair enough.

Maybe you would think, “hey, for experience sake, spending a couple of hundreds won’t kill you, right?” No, you are wrong. It will kill me especially when Engtee is guarding the money like how a squirrel guards its nuts. She will never take a cab from Carrefour to our apartment even though she is carrying loads of heavy things; she would rather squeeze herself in the bus and walk a few hundred meters, just so that she could save RMB20 of taxi fare.

Against this background you think I would be stupid and ambitious enough to spend RMB200 in a pub in 1 night? Fat chance! I will be hung in front of the gate of my apartment before I could taste my first beer.

Conclusion

Ok, I guess that pretty much sums up my nightlife in Shanghai. But Bro Stevo, for you and for you alone, I will take up the challenge to explore the nightlife of Shanghai despite the adversities (e.g. explaining to Engtee why I have to spend the time and money with other hot chicks in the name of experiencing life).

However, I will not be going to the rave parties (because I still have no idea what rave is) or the naughty nightclubs. So mom, no need to hold your breath, your son will not risk his marriage just to write good stuffs in the blog.

Probably I will just go to a brightly lit bar, order the cheapest beer (Qingtao 青岛) and sit there for an hour observing the people, the activities, and of course, the hot and beautiful young girls.





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